i am amazing

Yup, you read that correctly.  A.MAZE.ING.  I'm mentally exhausted after yesterday's post, so today I've decided to share with you some of the reasons I am so effing great. Ready. Set. Go.

I know I am amazing because:

• When M puked in my bed last week I just covered it with a towel and went back to sleep.
• I put my hood and sunglasses on at 5:30pm and tiptoed into Dunks to buy my kids munchkins for dinner cause I was too lazy to cook BUT I got busted by a fellow daycare parent in line for coffee behind me.   
• I told the BG that Crew Cuts was having a sale and that I needed to buy M clothes when in fact there was no such sale.  The J Crew spring line had just come out and I needed to buy new garb for myself.
• I let my kids watch hours of television so I can try to beat level 158 on Candy Crush.
• I hide in the bathroom and pour M&M's into my mouth instead of giving them as a reward to M when she does tinks and toots in the toilet AND then when she asks where the M&M's have gone I tell her that dada ate them.
• A friend recently informed me that I almost hit her with my shaggin wagon when she was in the crosswalk attempting to cross the street because I wasn't paying attention. Ouch.
• I read FB statuses and posts by other moms regarding paleo diets, red #19193048, cloth diapers, no tv time and think to myself  - my kids are going to turn out so much cooler than yours.  Or fatter.
• I don't keep track of the money in my checking account and got declined for $2.41 at Dunks drive thru for having insufficient funds WHILE the BG was sitting in the passengers seat thus resulting in the lecture of a lifetime.
• I pick up the phone when my kids are doing something completely unsafe or disgusting and record them or take a pic instead of reprimanding them.
• I tell M on a daily basis that Calliou is the worst character on the face of the earth and that if she continues to watch the show she will have no friends.

You are jealous.  Being amazing is no easy feat. Carry on lovelies. xox